My ex-boyfriend and I split up in July after he moved to Spain on a short work gig. Three weeks in and he ended it over WhatsApp, moved on with his life and decided to live in Europe. It felt like a legit mental slap in the face - my life had changed in a second, and I didn't see the crash approaching.
At that stage, I had two ways to look at the situation - I could either fall to pieces (which I did at times) or I could choose to embrace a journey on my own. At the age of 29, I was pretty content to know who I was spending the rest of my life with - but, the truth was, I was spending it with myself. They say that the most important relationship you can have is with yourself - completely corny, but true.
I travelled. Hard. Wanderlust is not the cheapest of hobbies, but it does afford you the ability to look at yourself and your life in various dimensions. You're meeting new people, indulging in adventure and feasting on foreign food - it forces you to grow in a way. I honestly believe that exploring new places and interacting with new people can often offer you the cheapest therapy that you'll ever need. Being on your own can also force you to face your emotions in a whole new way. When you're with someone for so long, it's easy to get lost in being together and to forget to confront yourself when you need to.
I've started painting again, joined the gym (not a success story as yet), almost passed out in a Bikram yoga class, made new friends, started meditating (no howling at the moon sadly) and have spent tons of time by myself. It's been super gratifying in the sense that after 29 years, I've finally started to appreciate myself, my strength and my own company. We profess to do it, but it's only when we're truly alone that we begin to dig a little deeper - exploring the crevices of our minds to acknowledge the fact that there is so much spark in our lives!
People keep telling me that I look "happy". And, I do feel that way 80% of the time. There's no shame in admitting that it takes minutes/weeks/months to move into your own space, after occupying it with another soul for so long. Right now, it's a work in progress that I'm continually trying to own - only you know your true worth, and it's up to you to decide who plays in that space.
Find out what makes you feel good, and go do more of that. We're too old to not live our lives with complete intention and raw energy - immerse yourself in the spark and in yourself. It's completely worth it.
