Date Etiquette

I think that most of us have been on our fair share of truly awful, let's-escape-through-the-bathroom-window dates. These are my personal tips for those inexperienced daters out there.

MUST KNOWS:

1. Do not overshare - no one really wants to know about your pet rat that died when you were two, or about your battle with Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Save these details for later. Please.

2. Garlic, onions, lobster, spaghetti and spinach - all foods that we love right? Be warned, these tantalizing treats are inclined to spill, leak or give off a slightly foul odour. This might actually come in handy if the date is going downhill, as you could always scare him away with your garlic breath.

3. Avoid talking about ex's during the first few dates. Okay, sure I would not judge you if you casually mentioned that your last relationship lasted 3 months. However, telling me that you dumped her because of her excessive facial hair might send off warning bells in my head. Talking about an ex can sometimes come off as obsessive, and I might start to assume that you are still hung up on sexy-Sarah/ Dave-the-hottie/ He-who-must-not-be-named.
  

4. Try not to get completely sloshed on a first date. A glass of vino is absolute perfection in a sit-down, intimate atmosphere, but one tequila too many can often lower your inhibitions. Picture mindless chatter, a little drool and an urge to show him how well you can do the Macarena. Erm, no thanks.


5. No one likes a complainer. It drains you of your energy, and forces you to question why you aren't sitting at home watching Grey's Anatomy. You want to appear cool and collected - not highly strung and offensive. If you had a bad day at work, simply say that you had a long, tiring day. Try not to launch into a monologue about your wretched co-worker who hogged the photocopy machine for an hour. There are bigger issues in the world - starving kids in Africa, saving the whales, Lindsay Lohan etc.

6. Paying the bill - this can prove all too tricky for most. Every girl wants to embrace her inner feminist and shove some money at the waiter. I honestly believe in going Dutch on most dates, except for first dates! offer to split the bill, and agree to be wined and dined if he insists on paying. Most guys enjoy beating on their pre-historic, manly chests on date #1. Chivalry is cool. And so are knights-in-shining-armour. Just go with it.