Death by granola..

Sprawled out on bed.

Eating second bowl of granola.

It’s my favourite time of the day – a little bonding time with Alexander Skarsgard, while he attempts to woo Sookie (which BTW is such a daddy-issue name!) in True Blood. It suddenly dawns on me that she is a Southern Belle, which essentially means that she downs butter as if it were free tequila at student night. Yet, she still manages to prevent her thighs from rubbing together on a hot, Summers day? Go figure. 

There may be a sinister reason as to why the word DIET contains the word DIE. A sadistic ploy to kill us with lettuce leaves and rice cakes? Perhaps. Is anyone ever content with the body that God (and that 3^rdMcFlurry) has forced upon us? No. Hell no. Sadly, slimming down typically translates to cutting back on food that feeds our souls – there has to be a reasonable explanation behind the name ‘Happy Meal’, right? 

The best advice that a FF (Former Fatty) such as myself can offer? There is NO miracle gel or pill that is going to turn you into Heidi Klum, so I suggest that you sweat out the lipids and watch what you eat. It’s easy  for me to say that you’re going to reject that yummy looking red velvet cupcake sitting on the kitchen counter, but you probably aren’t.

 I’ve been through the agonising warfare fought between 'gluttony' and 'I-can’t-fit-into-my-jeans'. This is often a 'no-win' situation that would force any dieter to check into a psyche ward ASAP! It’s a torturous conflict which usually results in: a) Guilt  or  b) A fridge raid at midnight to curb those cravings. Depriving yourself of life’s little pleasures is just not worth the effort, so it’s important to find easy food swaps that will satisfy your cravings, without compromising the size of your 'lil derrière.

·         Start the day off with a huge breakfast - your metabolism (and mind) needs to reset itself after all those nightmares of Snooki running for president. Oatmeal made with fat-free milk, vanilla essence, a few raisins and almond flakes is my ideal way to start of the day. Top it with cinnamon for an extra dose of flavour, which also lowers your blood glucose level. Fewer cravings = a speedy slim down!

·         A whole-wheat pita, topped with fat-free cottage cheese, veggies and hot sauce (speeds up you metabolism!) is the perfect way to fake a pizza. Trust me on this one!

·         My name is Mayuri and I-am-a-popcorn-addict. The only flawed aspect of this is that I usually buy a large box at the movies, refuse to share and proceed to stuff my face like that guy on Diners, Dives and Drive Ins. Movie popcorn usually has as many kilojoules as a cheeseburger, and enough fat to send your arteries into shock. NOT COOL. My tip? Buy a kids size box, or sneak in your own snacks.

·         I’m the biggest advocate for not drinking your kilojoules, but it’s cold and I need a hot drink. Too much sugar, and too much fat makes Mayuri’s waistline throw a tantrum, so I suggest going for  Cadbury Hi-Lights is my favourite Winter warm-up – it has half the sugar as regular hot chocolate AND far less fat!

·         “Let them eat cake” – Yes, please, with extra icing on the side! I have been named and shamed as a sugar addict by my family, and I don’t mind discussing my personal relationship with the satisfying sweet stuff. I’ll never reject a luscious looking slice of cake, especially when it sends me on a one-way trip down my very own yellow brick road. Ever. So, I’ve found a few recipes that cut down on kilojoules, but still manage to let me succumb to a food coma.  

Beetroot choc cake                                   Skinny choc cookies

Skinny red velvet cupcakes                Low-fat banana bread
Fudgy Choc pudding                      Lighter cheesecake!