Friends Forever?

Rolling into the working world is often accompanied by more responsibilities, toils, troubles and a declining intent to party on vodka Fridays.  Life gets busy, you become a bit of a homebody and staying in with Season 1 of The Vampire Diaries begins to sound like a wild night out. In varsity, the chore of balancing fun and work is easier – you see your friends at lectures or at least make plans to meet up on the Tiger dance-floor. Suddenly, life gets complicated and friends drift apart. 

You promise each other that you'll stay in contact, and meet up for lunch at least once a week, but the legitimacy of this is not always practical. I have met so many people over the last 5 years, many of whom I thought would make the cut post-varsity. I can honestly say that I can label ‘my people’ by the ones who come to mind when I'm stranded at work, or find out that a relationship wasn't as monogamous as I had thought.

The line between degenerating into an acquaintance, or evolving into BFF’s is a thin one. Many people are freaked out at the possibility of morphing into someone’s rock when the winds decide to change, and life throws you a curveball. Can you really rely on that person you met at age 18 to stick around once your problems grow beyond holding your hair back?

I regard every friendship as a relationship. You may not be wining and dining a date with the desired intent to get ‘into the zone’, but you do need to put in the same amount of effort.

Communication. Respect. Honesty. Commitment. No booty calls.

Distance can make the heart grow fonder. I have the most amazing group of friends who have been by my side through emotional outbursts, losing a parent, breakups and indecisiveness in the cereal aisle. A lot of this happened in two very different cities, but we still managed to become even better friends – I really do owe a lot to BBM, and it’s aptitude to assert an emotional connection. 

A long distance friendship is as difficult as you make it. You wouldn't think twice about setting time aside to chat to your significant other, so why not do the same for that friend who would shriek ‘hold me back’  if anyone had to mess with you.

The common cliché of neglecting your BFF so that you can drool over the new guy in town is way past its sell by date in my mind. If you can't spot the cosmic difference between someone who’s only there when you scream ‘pass the tequila’, and someone who would willingly watch Disney movies with you on a Saturday night, then you sadly need to re-prioritise your life. 

Never take a pal for granted, and remember that he or she always has the option of leaving when you lose that lovin’ feeling. But, if the relationship is sincere, then it will progress beyond the stable realm of lectures and exams. The messy domain of a post-varsity friendship is ugly, messy and beautiful all at the same time. It’s challenging. But, you might just wake up one day and realise that you've found yourself a keeper. I know I have.