Things I Hate About You

Playing by the so-called rules of dating cheats you of any chance to let out your inner free-spirit. I hate rules. They're often based on society's expectations of how you should behave when letting out a high-pitched mating call in the dating jungle. 

This is why rules don't work. They make you over-think. You start to morph into a walking-talking page straight out of 'He's Just Not That Into You". You feel obliged to wait 3 days before stuffing your face with sugar, if the object of your affection hasn't called back. Not cool. 

Apparently boys like it when we play according to the rules. Or, at least they subconsciously want us not to say/do/eat certain things, when we're caught in the trap of lust vs. forever. Personally, I do agree with some of their points - I mean, no one wants to date a femme fatale who turns into a nagging pseudo-wife when times get rough.

According to Matt from The Principles of Dating (http://theprinceplesofdating.com/) men hate us when we wear baggy dresses. And, when we do the following:

Talking on the Phone: Thanks to the power of texting, it is quite acceptable by today’s standards to have a complete relationship without ever talking on the phone. Granted, that doesn’t lend itself to a healthy relationship… it will, however, make men happy. The only way talking on the phone is acceptable is if the conversation is held to under 4 minutes and 30 seconds. There is no reason why any conversation should take longer than that.

Talking in General: If you want to talk about your day, we will begrudgingly listen and nod our heads as you go on and on and on about every little detail. When you turn the tables, don’t expect us to by quite as open. When men are asked the question “How was your day?” there are only three answers we can supply. A) Good. B) Fine. C) It sucked. 

Facebook Stalking: Yes, I have friends that are girls. No, I don’t think any of them are prettier than you. You women have mastered the art of being Facebook creeptastic. With a few clicks of the button you are sizing up random girl because some skank from high school posted “Happy Birthday!” with a winky face. 

Stupid Baggy Dress: Ok, I don’t know what they are called, and neither does Google, so Stupid Baggy Dress is as good as I can come up with. Let me explain… these are those short dresses that are baggy on top and around the stomach area then get tight around the thigh. I don’t care if you feel bloated while you’re on your period, there is no excuse for this. It looks like a mumu for  hookers.

6. Make-Up: Contrary to what all women believe, men can’t stand make up. Natural is sexy. Unless you are naturally ugly… then by all means, pile it on. It’s nice to get dolled up from time to time, but if in the morning my pillow looks like a Picasso painting maybe it’s time to re-asses your application techniques.

Mentally Fat Girls: The only thing men hate more then fat girls are skinny girls who think they are fat. When we compliment you, accept it… say thank you and move on. Please don’t question our compliment or match it with a “ugh, are you kidding? I feel like a cow.” The most attractive thing to a man is confidence… 

Nagging: Contrary to popular belief, we heard you the first time. If you ask us to take out the trash, chances are we will… just on our own time. When you ask us to do something, you mean now, and we don’t like that. What you see as a lack of urgency, we see as patience and an innate ability to asses the situation without rushing… stop jumping to conclusions.