Miley Cyrus. Put the damn foam finger away.

Twerk. Tongue. Foam fingers. Society has been hit by a grenade - yes, Miley Cyrus performed at last night's MTV Video Music Awards. What-the-eff? 

I'm rather horrified - gyrating in a onesie and cavorting with a foam finger? I was starting to warm up to the idea of an edgier Miley (post-Hannah Montana), but she's killed the dream by making the moves on Robin Thicke - she licked his chest! Oh, and by dancing around with forest animals of course. Shame on you. 

Motorboat Miley, Motorboat.

Didn't you know that Miley has invisible hair? 

And the twerking begins.

This kind of reminds me of being hit on in Observatory.

Go ahead - lick the 36-year-old man Miley.

The audience really seem to be getting into it hey?